Dynasty Warriors: The AntiBei League Adventures!
by ecnal nogardnap
Summary: We all have rights to our opinions, yet when we are jerks about it, we tend to be…Well, hated. Here is a prime example, balanced readers!


_**DW: The Anti-Bei League Adventures!**_

Summary: We all have rights to our opinions, yet when we are jerks about it, we tend to be…Well, hated. Here is a prime example, balanced readers!

Disclaimer: DW ain't mine, it's Koei's. The rest is mentioned down there…Everything else belongs to whoever it belongs to.

A.N.: Sho Kan and his troops are based on all imbalanced Wu-ists out there. Zhuge Liang Ti…um…Well, Z Star, that one's for you…XD

This fic lacks any real structured plot and I can't say much for sensible dialogue.

Made mostly for entertainment, but also to get a point through. A four-chapter thing unless you guys have ideas! Oh. If you're a 'zealous' Wu-ist or Shu-ist that hates the other team mentioned, I STRONGLY, STROOOOONGLY suggest you go elsewhere. You have been warned! Now let the show begin!

_**Chapter 1: Gary Stu, Meet Gary Lu!**_

It was a fine day. The Anti-Bei League of fourteen clones, led by the 'brave, kind, calm, and in-possession-of-a-berserk-rage' Sho Kan, was simply going about, innocently launching unwarranted and poorly-planned smear campaigns against Liu Bei.

Ah yes, this was the life. Putting up posters demanding the return of Jing, simply claiming without proof (and, surprisingly, with a mentality about 1800 or so years into the future) that there was NO way that SSX could've loved Liu Bei.

Ah, yes. Good old feminism. What would we do if they had paid attention to facts and didn't bring in ideas from present day?

Like a storm, our crusaders swept forth! Like a mighty plague, er, flood, they even braved Shu's low-crime streets and liberal laws to post more of said posters! Their determination knew no bounds! Fortunately, it was just enough to wipe clean the reputation of the lack of thought they put into their extravaganza.

"ZOMFG!" as their fearless leader often put it. "WE DON HAVE 2 B CONSIDERATE 2 THSE SHU FOOS!"

With a loud cheer, the rambunctious youths made their way to the exit. However, this time, something was in store for them…

"OMGWTF!" came another voice. The battle-robed Sho Kan halted his troop and saw…Zhuge Liang Ti. Zhuge Liang's rabid clone, a Shu-ist, and his archenemy.

(A.N.: Inspired by online game jargon, this isn't meant to make sense…)

"HAXXERZ! WE PWN J00 STOOOOOPID SHUUUU!" shrieked Sho Kan.

"J00 NOOBS! ZHUGE PWNZORZ U ALL! ZHOU YU IS FGT CMPR!" came the 'eloquent' response from the equally zealous man.

"OMG!" gasped Sho. "NOOB CANT C SHU GAY! SHU GAAAYYYY! GUAN U! LIBEI! PNGTONG! THY ALLLLL GAAAAAAY!"

"HAXXERZ!" spat Zhuge Liang Ti. He drew his war fan, poised to shoot lasers but decided to 'beat them at their own game'.

"J00 WUUUU IS GAAAAAAAY-ER! SUNJIAN/HUANG GAI! SUNCE/ZHOU YU! ZUNQUAN/ZHOU TAAAAAIIIIIII!"

The two of them growled like animals with rabies, such was their 'righteous fury'. Then, without warning, Ti opened his war fan. Brilliant green laser blasts shot forth. Sho Kan, however, dodged them all like the Matrix.

KABOOOOOOOM!

…Wish I could say the same for his fourteen clones.

Looking on in rage, he drew his heavenly sword and rushed forth, giving his ferocious battlecry that struck fear in the hearts of Shu-ists…

"ZOMFGLOLOLOLJOOGAYERZROFLMAOOOOO!"

In response, the insane clone floated forward in his musou stance.

"ROFLROFLROFLROFLLMAOLMAOLMAOOOOO!"

Then, the titans clashed.

Yea, the battle did last for many…! Um…Minutes…

YES! Minutes! For such was their valor and blindness to their cause that it gave them the strength and verocity of a hundred fanboys, nay, TWO hundred!

KERTHWACK!

Sho Kan sliced Zhuge's fan in two!

SHWOOOOOM!

Zhuge Liang Ti called forth a tornado which blew the Wu-ist into a boulder!

KERTHWACK!

SHWOOOOOM!

KERTHWACK!

SHWOOOOOOOOOOM!

KERTHWACKKERTHWACKKERTHWACK!

SHWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

And so, for a full fifteen minutes did they combat in this matter! Several people lost their homes! Lives were claimed! Women and children were widowed and orphaned! Such was the rage of war!

Alas, this did not carry on infinitely. The two cosmic champions…fell down.

"U…GAY…NOOOOOB!" gasped Sho Kan. Zhuge panted in fatigue.

"U STOOOPID!"

The two zealots panted and gasped for air, their bodies and minds aching from the combat. Then, that's when a certain Zuo Ci teleported, having sensed the disturbance in the area.

The sage looked disapprovingly at the chaos.

"WHO did this, pray tell?" he asked calmly.

The one pointed at the other. Zuo Ci nods.

"And WHY did you do this?" he asks again.

Sho Kan stumbled up, desperate to die a martyr.

"SHUUUUUUU NO GOOD! FAGT SAGE STEEEWWWWPID! LIU BEI GAAAAAY! OMGROFLMAO!" he screamed before falling down again.

Zhuge Liang Ti wasn't gonna stand for that, though. He stumbled up too.

"ZOMFG! NOOB IS WU FNBOY! THEYZ FRUTCAKE! LOOOOL! HE IZ GN/SSX WHORE, WORST COPLE EVAAAA!"

Then, HE dropped down too.

Zuo Ci looked, suppressing his contempt.

"I see," he started silently. Then, he drew his charms. They radiated with a power akin to the Silver Surfer's POWER COSMIC (echo).

"Now tell me, have either of you ever been to a game series called Mortal Kombat? I hear it's got ways of dealing with people like you…"

_**Fin!**_

A.N.: If you are a Wu/Shu zealot, I can only say you WERE warned!

Well, that's it for now, guys. I hope you weren't offended and realized I wasn't bashing the KINGDOMS. I was bashing how PEOPLE bash the kingdoms so unfairly. Some guys seem to think that Zhou Yu was all goody, goody handsome bishounen anime-starring type guy without seeing that he really DID have his faults of greed and pettiness (though I'm sure he had some good points too). Similarly, and admittedly, some Shu-ists are rather high-and-mighty with their 'we picked the good guys with the smartest man living' dogma.

Me? I support Shu, but I like everybody else as well for fair reasons. Well, that's all. Always remember, guys and gals, we have a right to express our opinions, but we shouldn't look down on others' as well!


End file.
